28 Juli 2013

What Happen To: 'Family Stick Together'?

We are counting down the day to Idul Fitri. This will be second Idul Fitri I will not going home. Because I want my parents live happily ever after without me beside them. This is a very big choice that I ever made in my life.

I have a big sister, who always jealous to me from the day I was born. She has this sibling rivalry. She does bad things to me and my brothers and my sister. Always bad. Because she doesn't want us to be her siblings. She always try to hurt me and my other siblings.

When I was a kid, I am dreaming about becoming a big girl. Go to big city. Far away from her. But today, I know, when I want to be free from her, I have to let go my family. Because she live with my parents. My body have alot of bruises, knife cut, and some other thing. But most of all, she hurts my feeling. My human feeling. From all that terors, I become me, myself, and I. I got some disorder. First Obsessive–Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I start counting everything around me for so many times. And then I got DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) too.

But thanks God, my OCD is gone now. I try alot of things to cure my OCD. So I did it! But my DID still inside me. Sometime I didn't know what happen to myself. I didn't recognize what inside me. That's why I don't want to be too close to another person in real life. They will find out how different me, myself, and I when some strong things happen.

I always believe that family stick together till the end. But when big fight happen between me and my big sister, she took everything from me. She don't want me to be with my mom and my dad anymore. Actually this is the second hurtest feeling I've got in mylife. They still alive but I can't be with them if I want them to be safe. Because my big sister will do every bad thing to make sure that I am not coming home to see my family.

I know when first day in Syawal, I will cry alot. I cry because I can't stick with my family in that day. That big day. I can't kiss my parent's hands and say 'sorry' for everything I did. For everyone who read this but still stick with their family just be thankful. Family is somewhere you come from and go home with.

Family is your home. And I think I am a homeless.

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What Happen To: 'Family Stick Together'?
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